"I never have to introduce myself. They all seem to know who I am." - Queen Elizabeth II
We all remember exactly where we were/what we were doing when big, impactful events happen. My parents always told the stories of where they were when Kennedy was shot. My generation can usually describe in detail their morning of September 11, 2001.
But other events impact us all differently. For example, my mother used to tell me how she was up in the middle of the night feeding me (I was only a 2 week old infant) while she watched Lady Diana marry the then Prince Charles on tv. She used to joke how my fascination with royalty started then, at my very first Royal wedding.
I obviously don’t remember that, but for as long as I CAN remember, Queen Elizabeth II has been my idol.
Why? I’m not really sure but I’ll try to answer that by describing how I viewed her.
The Queen was rarely on tv, and never gave interviews, but always seemed like this stoic, solid, empathetic, loyal, steadfast leader that was always present. As tiny as she was, her influence and even existence made her seem larger than life. While her family members were all over the tabloids, she really wasn’t. The worst thing anyone could ever say about her was that she was not rational and any perceived misstep was probably for bigger reasons we aren’t privy to know.
Queen Elizabeth II was arguably the most famous person on Earth, and I loved everything about her.
To see her look so frail leading up to September 2022 made us all aware she was 96. I remember watching her Platinum Jubilee in June of 2022, and The Queen wasn’t present for a lot of the events. But on the day of the Jubilee parade in front of Buckingham Palace (when I learned parades are called pageants in the U.K.) I noticed the flag raise on top of the palace. Ed Sheeran was performing but, I jumped up to get closer to the tv to make sure I saw correctly. (Fun fact: only when the reigning monarch is present is the royal standard flown.) I had a feeling of nervous excitement that she was there, when it was an overall assumption that she wouldn’t appear.
But she did. The Queen appeared alongside her family in what would turn out to be her last balcony appearance.
One of those memorable types of events for me happened in September of 2022. September 8th, specifically. That August, my mother was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer so there were still a lot of questions and concerns surrounding that. So September was already starting to be a stressful time.
I was up early (I am an early riser) and it was about 5:30am my time that I got the BBC news alert that The Queen was ill and being advised by doctors in Balmoral, her Scotland residence.
It was an alarming piece of news, because if you’re a pro at royal news/gossip like I am, you know the palace doesn’t comment on anything if they do not need to. The Queen herself had the motto “Never complain, never explain.” So one really has to read between the lines when it comes to the royals, and sometimes it’s more important to figure out what they are NOT saying.
But I went on with my day, or like The Queen would say, “got on with it.”
I enlisted my Aunt Sandy to watch BBC News to keep me updated on anything. She said that all they were showing was a still picture of The Queen.
Oh no.
I know now that the news outlets were scrambling behind the scenes, waiting for official word from Buckingham Palace before announcing the one piece of news that the world expected, but didn’t want to hear.
“She’s gone, honey.”
That was the text my Aunt Sandy sent to me and I stared at it in disbelief.
No.
NO.
But it was true.
I called my dad. “She was very old.”
He was right but I also realized then that even my parents couldn’t remember a time when she wasn’t Queen.
I cried a lot during the days leading up to her funeral, which felt silly since I was mourning someone I didn’t know and was never going meet. My friends all checked in on me and I frequently got my most favorite compliment of all time… “when I heard about The Queen, you’re the first person I thought of.”
Loved that.
Pragmatically, I know she led an amazing and long life; but it was a life she didn’t ask for, or want. Duty called, and she answered in a graceful and patient way. In my research on her reign, I fully believe that if she did have a choice, she would have lived the country life and happily raised and rode the horses she loved so much.
The day of her funeral, as they lowered her casket into the royal vault of St. George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle, I curtsied and said a quiet prayer to Elizabeth the Great.
My hope is now she is enjoying the most peaceful rest.
Thank you, Your Majesty. For everything.
#GodSaveTheQueen